Music I enjoy

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Saturday, November 12, 2011

More weddings...







Zombie-ism

Earlier this year, my friend niki decided to take her money that she was saving for a house and decided to sell most of her possessions and take off for Europe and she was never happier. One day, somewhere in Europe, Niki took it upon herself to go cliff diving. Well kids, here's a quick cliff diving tip for you: don't look down as you jump. The momentum and gravity working against you will inevitably result in a face plant. Take exhibit A: Niki's cracked molar.


With enough training, she could be the best.

Guitar player

Black Sun Alchemy live at Stage 84

Thursday, September 1, 2011

New pics

Although my blog is specifically meant to be the happenings of the beautiful city of Ft. Lauderdale, I am doing a special blog tonight, covering my brother Matt's destination wedding in Park City, Utah. Enjoy!








Thursday, June 9, 2011

Black Sun Alchemy at the Monterey Club with Motorgrater


Black Sun Alchemy played an amazing set last night at the Monterey Club in Ft. Lauderdale. Opening for national act Motorgrater, the local boys, along with The Opening, and Underlined, put together a great show that brought out an intimate but cheerful crowd. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself. A live clip of "Space Invaders" from their Wednesday night performance!



BSA is currently recording their new album which is set for release by the end of July 2011. The album will be posted first on their website so be sure to keep checking! Also, for more information or to learn how to become part of the Black Sun Alchemy army check out: http://www.blacksunalchemy.com

Fan with Black Sun Alchemy setlist.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Monday, May 2, 2011

Caribbean Sunset: A Utopian Ideal

As defined by the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, a Utopia is: “an imagined perfect place or state of things” leading one to assume that a utopia cannot physically exist, we can only create it within ourselves. For Americans, Jamaica represents a Utopia. In 2010, American tourists accounted for the majority of travelers to Jamaica over Canada and Europe. On the other hand, Americans had the lowest amount of tourist visits to Cuba, behind Europe and Canada. But where does this play into literary historical fiction? If literary historical fiction already transcends time, the notion of a utopia would not only differ from person to person but would differ depending on when you are in time. This essay will examine how Caribbean historical narrative uses the color black to depict a utopian desire, but is the utopian desire America as Dr. Santiago Juan Navarro suggests? Using Marlon James’s novel, The Book of Night Women and Ana Menendez’s Loving Che, this essay will analyze this color pattern and its synonymous use with Lilith and Teresa de la Landre as it reflects a utopian desire within both characters.

According to Juan-Navarro the utopian ideal manifested in America’s discovery and was believed to be a type of new Jerusalem. To Europeans, “America has provided the two basic ingredients necessary to utopia for both Europeans and Americans alike: space and time, a territory in which to establish it, and a history with both a past to recover and a future upon which to easily project oneself” (Pg 270). In other words, the idea of "America" gave our ancestors hope in starting over and creating a new world free of monarchistic ideals. “The utopian space ‘that is not here’ presupposes an effort to create another world, an alterity that recovers the virtues of the past, a space that is projected upon the future or, more simply, is represented as already existing in another place. [The other place] is the critical counter-image to the reality it wishes to redeem by modifying the unjust aspects of its structure” (Pg 270). A utopia provides a counterbalance to the problems of the current reality by containing all the “good” ideals of the past (essentially what has worked) towards the structural basis of the future; it is then safe to assume that the idea of the Utopia, itself, transcends time just as historical fiction does.

In Loving Che, Menendez offers the reader the simulacrum of a utopia through the color pattern black and its’ synonymous representation of the present reality. The first depiction of this ideal begins on page 26 with Teresa’s encounter with the street peasant, Loco.
“Before the beginning, he whispers, the island was empty and the wind was without voice and the fish walked through the sand leaving footprints that lasted for years... A woman in black clasps her hands to her chest. What a fine mimic! she says” (Pg 26).
Loco is portraying a fish walking on land that no man possesses; this mimicry, while fantastical in mature, is reflective of this desire for a Utopia. The woman in black represents Cuba and their present reality. The woman’s comment, “what a fine mimic!”, suggests that not only do the characters desire a Utopia but then even acknowledge the desire for it; the crowd is watching the man mimicking a fish walking like a man in a land that doesn’t exist.

The second depiction of this desire is on page 45. “The shadow of a bird made me remember: I had run toward the palace with the others, all of us running. And then the pigeons in the plaza suddenly rose as one, like a black veil lifting.”
Typically a bird (dove) represents peace but here Menendez uses a pigeon (a common bird) to represent the common people of Cuba. The shadow of the bird represents the war going on (and the current situation she finds herself in) or a lingering darkness that surrounds the people during the time of the revolution (being representative of the present she is running away from). And as the bird rises, the symbolism of hope is represented as the black (or present) is lifted and disappears forming a Utopia. As the shadow (reality) fades away, hope is reinstilled into Teresa in the form of this Utopian desire. She has essentially claimed that in the moment of war, she wished to be somewhere else and poured this desire into the representation of the pigeon flying away since it can be noted as well, the pigeon is a bird and is able to fly away at any moment to any place whenever they choose, another Utopian ideal that represents the beginning of this journey in search of a Utopia.

The third depiction is on page 68. “I watched him move in my space and this time there was no color in the throat, no sound; only a sense that the days as I knew them were ending and that something new was waiting beyond the burnt edges.”
Here she associates “burnt edges” and an absence of color (black) with Che. He represents the revolution and the revolution was starting to consume her. But herein lies a problem. As noted before, Utopia’s exist in the mind of the creator. Each Utopia is unique depending on whom you ask. Teresa is watching Che not just move into her space, but invade her Utopic notions. With Che in her life, Teresa is forced to deal with reality. She can’t ignore something real like bullets being fired around her but on the other hand by allowing Che into her life, she is allowing Che to destroy her notions of Utopia in exchange for his notions of a Utopia.

The fourth depiction is on page 77. “And already a thin black core of doubt had begun to burrow into the revolution’s heart.” In this passage, “a thin black core of doubt” represents the beginning susupicions of not having the same Utopian ideals. This challenge is acknowledged by Teresa in her second realization that neither Utopias may stand to last and that challenge grounds her once again in reality, posing the question of “what next?” in regards to their relationship challenging the now current Utopia she shares with Che.

Using Marlon James’s novel “The Book of night Women” the color pattern of black still represents a utopian ideal that is displayed through the character Lilith, an eighteenth century slave on a Jamaican sugar plantation, but is the Utopian ideal, America? “Eight month later, in a birth that kill the mama, come a girl black like pitch with the prettiest green eyes anybody ever done see.”(Pg 265) The death of Lilith’s mother is representative of Lilith’s current reality because Lilith was not forced to work as a slave like everyone else on the plantation as she grew up. The birth of Lilith represents the birth of a Utopia for the slaves of Montpelier; Lilith is now the embodiment of a Utopia.
“Which one you want to be, girl chile? Dead or living? Homer ask. Lilith say she not ready to dead yet’ cause she don’t know where dead people go. Same place they were goin’ when them living, Homer say. Homer climb up the stairs…The sky wearing black.” (Pg 64)
In this particular passage, Homer is telling Lilith that when you’re dead, your soul is going to the exact same “world” you lived in while alive- meaning, if a utopia is something you create in your own mind, how can you possibly go someplace else that transcends time if you didn’t create it yourself? Which poses a problem for Lilith because she is implying to Homer that she isn’t ready for anything outside of her own utopia because she is a child. The notion of an adult utopia and a child’s would be vastly different. Because of her age, Lilith has nowhere near the same experiences as Homer does. Their lives are vastly different from one another as are their notions of a utopia. As mentioned earlier, Lilith’s birth was already the birth of a utopia. Homer is asking her if she’s ready to leave her utopia for another.

“In the candlelight Homer pick up a darkness that make her look different from before. Lilith think right there that if she cut Homer, black oil would pour out and not blood.” (Pg 68) The imagery of shadows and black here embody Homer’s notion of Utopian desire. Homer had just led Lilith to the cave to meet with the other women, some even kin to Lilith, that were plotting an escape from the plantation so they would no longer be slaves. The darkness in the cave works as an illumination for Lilith as she notes that Homer has changed. By going into the cave, Lilith is exposed to another world outside of her own. She is starting to realize that not everything is what it seems (Plato) which forces Lilith to face the allegory of the cave. In the cave Homer became something other than human in Lilith’s eyes with her remark about her blood being made of oil. This also leads one to think, if Homer isn’t human in the cave, what is she embodying then in Lilith’s eyes? Since oil is means of “energy”, Lilith saw Homer as being a powerful entity. By showing Lilith the cave, Homer has presented Lilith with the underlying question, you can stay in your world, or you can follow me to mine (another utopia).
“You different, Lilith. You have more darkness ’bout you now. You turning into woman, Homer say to her.
-Me turning into something, Lilith say.” (Pg 222)
Lilith’s age has dramatically increased from a child’s view of the world to an adult’s view. After being subjugated to cruel and unusual punishments as a slave, she no longer views the world like she once did when she was a child on the plantation. She acknowledges the change since her empathy for Homer grows stronger after Homer telling her the story of her being beaten and raped and burned and having to feed her children with mutilated breasts. Lilith knows the horrors she can face and because of this her utopia is changing because she is changing and adapting to survive. Now she is realizing Homer’s utopic vision of the world but she’s still not convinced that Homer’s utopia is her own.

Until this point I have successfully demonstrated that both Lilith and Teresa present utopian ideals from two different time periods. But is this utopia America as Dr. Juan-Navarro suggests? Not Necessarily.

Teresa exhibits her desire for a utopia throughout Loving Che but there are some problems with how she depicts the desire.

The man who remarks to the woman dressed in black about Loco represents the part of Cuba that is skeptical of this utopia existing. “All mad-men sound like someone else, he says. “ (PG 26) He believes the notion of not just this particular utopia Loco is portraying but any type even existing. He thinks a person would have to be insane to conjure up the idea of a perfect place (just like Loco) so he dismisses it. But does Teresa? Teresa remarks later on about her own desire to fly away to another place, where war isn’t going on. That seems to be her only stipulation. She never mentions her husband at any point about joining her in this perfect place. It is simply herself in her own world as she envisions it.

As her love for Che grows, her utopic vision becomes obscured with Che’s. Che’s own utopic ideal was in Cuba at that moment in time. He was already there and he finds no reason to leave his own utopia but rather invites others to come with him including Teresa. America was not her ideal utopia. If it was, Teresa would have fled to Miami along with the other refugees who were fleeing the revolution because their reality was becoming a nightmare. She wouldn’t have handed over her only daughter to her father to take with him out of her home country. Cuba is Teresa’s home not America and her ideal utopia remains in Cuba with Che. If she fled, she would have been forced to give up her complete utopic notion whereas by staying she can still indulge in her fantasy.

And what about Lilith?

Being that it is eighteenth century Jamaica, reason stands to witness that they are already secluded from the world living on an island (a utopic ideal). Lilith was born in a utopia. However, because she only knew her own utopic notions growing up, she wasn’t tainted by outside thought until she was much older. It is only when she is dragged out from her utopia and forced to work on the Montpelier plantation that she first faces reality in Jamaica. As a slave, Lilith was subjugated to the same horrors everyone else had known for quite some time, but still was not subjugated like the field slave. Lilith still went from one utopia to the next, meaning, she didn’t have to share quarters with anyone and in her solitude, she was able to escape to her utopia again, but this time with the gentleman, Joseph Andrews. As she transcends with Mr. Andrews she once again returns to a utopia that is shaped by her childhood one and not once did the notion of leaving Jamaica come to her.

But Liliths' (as a woman) utopian ideals have changed as a result of her own experiences. These experiences lead Lilith to create a new utopia involving Robert Quinn not a utopia as Homer saw it. Homer’s utopia was closer to America then Lilith’s. Lilith didn’t even run off the plantation while it was burning to the ground. As long as she was with Robert, she was happy. Homer had no significant other and even made it clear in the book that no man has ever been able to handle her. “You use to say you don’t meet no man who can handle you. –He almost, but in the end he was just a nigger.” (Pg 218) Homer’s own utopic notions never involved love nor a man because she sees herself as a very independent woman. Her notions of utopia involved not being a slave. Lilith’s notions involved being in love. While Homer may have shown Lilith the way to her utopia, Lilith’s utopia is Jamaica and her notion included someone else living with her in this ideal.

Under further scrutiny, the pattern of the utopian ideal is rather found in both books, to be offered to the characters by someone close to them. In Loving Che, Teresa is offered a different utopic notion by Che that no longer leaves her alone in hers. He offers her a utopia that exists in reality, in Cuba, at that time. Since the idea of a utopia developed in the fantastical, its safe to assume, that it doesn’t exist, which presents a paradox in Che’s Utopia, leaving Teresa to either parish in his, or retreat back to hers, neither of which having to do with the ideal notion of America being utopic.

The Book of Night Women does the same thing only the relationship is more akin to mother and daughter then two lovers. It is interesting to note Lilith and Homer’s relationship particularly since Lilith already embodies utopic ideals for the slaves, Homer being one of them. In Lilith, Homer saw the possibility of what life could be like outside of slavery. This could arguably be the driving force that set into motion, Homer developing her own utopia based off Lilith. But the invitation still exists and it exists because Homer wants to take all the “good” that’s left of the old world and bring it with her to the new one (her utopia). In exchange however, Lilith would be giving up her own utopic ideals because Homer’s utopia does not include Mr. Quinn.
So what does this all mean? Rather than neatly summarizing the notion of America of a utopia I’m presupposed to argue that Juan-Navarro’s argument of America as utopic finds flaws when used to analyze Caribbean historical fiction. To us, America is a utopia that we as a people created. And I use the term very loosely, I should rather state, that America was created by the majority of white protestant men. America as a utopia only applies to this particular group since the notion, as stated by Juan Navarro, started with them. As shown, even while transcending time, the utopian notion is there but does not reflect America as a utopia- 1. it reflects their own country as utopic regardless of their situation. 2. There is always an outside influence changing and affecting our own notions of utopian ideals based upon when we are in time.

Historically speaking, America is a country of opportunity and that notion has existed for over 200 years. But how does that notion affect today? As mentioned before, last year alone, Americans made up the highest percentage of tourists to Jamaica over Europe and Canada; we were third behind the two, in measurement of tourists in Cuba. Why? Could our isolation between the two countries produce ideals about the country that may or may not exist and has our own utopic notion of America hindered the possibility of America being the dystopian society? The possibility is there it’s just a matter of whom you ask.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Silence

I’m pretty sure he knows.
I can see it in his eyes.
He is searching mine
and the silence.

He slams my head and calls me a hoe.
He screams in my face; the lies
all replay in my mind.
And the violence.

It’s hard telling people you know,
showing them your disguise
I tell them I’m fine.
And the silence.

The anger never shows.
He keeps telling lies.
His voice keeps playing in my mind,
his voice keeps playing in my mind!
And the violence.

I’m pretty sure they know.
I can see it in their eyes.
Searching for that love of mine.
And I’m silent.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

A nod towards Historical Fiction

‎"We still repeat to ourselves that America is a "New World," a "young continent" whose "virgin territory" is replete with "possibility." And yet the social reality of the Americas remains closer to the anti-utopia that its postmodern writers often re-create in their fictions. The American Dream frequently becomes the American Nightmare." - Santiago Juan-Navarro

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Happy Happy, Joy Joy




Cupcakes are the new rage when it comes to house parties and having little finger foods that people can munch on guilt free. I'm not sure why you feel like it's guilt free, since you are eating sugar and bread, but none the less, you still feel helpless to the calling of the sweet that has brought so much joy into your life and in just the perfect amount.

No one can resist the calling of the mini cupcake.

And here in South Florida, these cupcakes are provided by Yummy cakes and more based in Miami. The owner Sophie Mendoza, makes custom made cakes of all sizes at her shop that are filled with more than just sugar and flour; they're made with love.

Because only love can bring out the joy in person.

That and cupcakes.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dania Beach at night




Not every picture taken at the beach needs the sun. This particular picture was taken at 4:30am on Dania Beach. The picture was of a mango and with it being so dark out I had to raise my ISO to 6400 and drop my aperture to 3.5. After adding a slight effect to the picture, this was the outcome.

The title obviously has nothing to do with either Big Birds imaginary friend or what Miami was popular for back in the 80's. This was just the first thought for a title that popped into my head.

Jealousy